"Stuck In The Mud"

Yes I know it's been a while. I think I say that every time I write a post; But really I have been busy and pretty much stuck in the mud... don't worry... not literally. As some of you may or may not know I graduated from High School last year, probably one of the happiest and saddest moment in my life. I left behind my friends and also my parents, but not to go to school again but to pretty much find myself. I know it sounds spiritual and a little silly to some people, but growing up I always knew what I wanted to; it might’ve changed 4-5 times but I always had that sense of who I wanted to be when a family member or friend asked. Saying that I was never really that academic so when it came to actually choosing a subject that’s when I went point blank.

I’m not sure of I said it before but I'm what you call a TCK, Third Culture Kid, which means I pretty much lived and grew up in a country that's not my own; also on top of that my parents are from two completely different cultures themselves. I see myself as a city girl, so when I packed up and moved in with my family in the countryside part of Scotland, I didn’t know what to expect; you could say I have a love/hate relationship with it and I stick out like a sore thumb.

It’s coming up to exactly a year on to when I first left school and seeing the friends from the year below me finished with exams and excited to leave school and the ones in university that have finished their first year; it makes it so surreal that I still am stuck in the same place; hence the “stuck in the mud” analogy. Now I skype my parents every week, and honestly one day I just broke down. Not because I was sad but because I was angry. I think the bottled up emotions of not knowing what to do with myself had over come me and I finally needed to express that. Now after all the blubbering, my dad said write a list of all the things you love, and wish you could do; and I did what he said. Honestly it made me feel so much better, because now I have a bucket list of things that I can work towards. One of them being writing and taking my photography a little more seriously.

So I don’t know if you’re in the same situation as me; and if you are, I truly hope it gets better for both of us, because right now I’m working a simple job to save up money so I can do the things that I love (and lets be honest with a little help from my parents too). I’m not saying that school is bad; it’s just not for me, well right at this moment. I might not be in the job or place that I ever thought i'd be in but honestly I have never felt so healthy and stress-free with my life and I hope by the end of the year I’ll look back and know I achieved half or maybe just one of my goals on my list.

I was a bit skeptical if I wanted to post this but I started this blog to share my experiences with you. I hope all is well and you have an amazing day and congrats if you got to the end of this post :3

Thanks so much for reading and please share your thoughts I'd love to hear them!

Ttyl,
Heather

♡